GETTING BONETASTICALLY CRAZY…

In the dark morning hours, Freeport is quiet - the hotel, the lobster, the water, and even the fish. We are so excited, and can’t believe we are here. Surf and indigenous waterfowl are kind, mysterious and awakening sounds coming forth. We await our guide to pick us up from the Westin. Plush and inviting, this resort is nothing short of spectacular. However, we are up before dawn and have left our wives behind on this day for one reason, and one reason only – BIG BONES, and whiskey.

We begin with an hour long ride to McLean’s Town by van. To ensure we are prepared for the pace, the driver creeps along at 45 miles per hour, which is fast given the Bahamian way of life, “slow and easy mon”. This is absolutely nothing like speeding down I-35 from Austin, TX to San Antonio on a Saturday morning. We get used to it quickly though, because we actually enjoy the scenery and the conversation with the van driver. As we get further into our winding journey, we notice the damage done by hurricanes past, and the sheer beauty of this island culture. Many local people around us are living off the land, fishing, farming, and raising their children like people from anywhere else. Comparatively, many of these islanders live in poverty, in small huts and cabanas. We notice that all of them are waving, smiling, and greeting us as we cross into their villages. Can you imagine if you saw this type of welcome in NYC? You would think it was a float parade. Generous tips here can make a restaurant owner’s month. But, these people also have a few things to show the world. The real lesson given by the people here comes when you make friends with them. Their true passion for the water, sport, life, relaxation, pride in family, and overall friendliness is unmatched. To give yourself a reward for a decade of work, you come here - or if you want to treat your buddy to a serious sporting event of a lifetime before he gets married. The setting is perfect, the weather is perfect, and the water is gin clear.

We begin our fishing day at the docks of McLean’s Town, where we meet our guide, Bernard. He is a crazy character with a lifetime of bonefishing experience. I can only imagine the stories he has locked away in memory, pulling fallen drunk tourists from the water, eating raw snapper caught from his boat, or unleashing the fury of the Bahamas best bones on a first timer. This is a guy whom you trust with your life. He “IS” the Bahamas, live and in person. Young, wild, smart, and dedicated, he claims he will take us to the hottest spots for HUGE schools of bonefish, pole in hand, and Backwoods cigar in mouth. Classic. We are made bonefish believers in no less than a 10 minute boat ride from the dock. Initially, Bernard gave us some coaching on the style of casting that works best in these conditions. I had my 10 wt. Thomas and Thomas ready to unleash hell on these Bones! I’ve done this before. He recommended a delicate casting technique as not to spook the fish in their schools. Before we got serious though, he speared two lobsters for our lunch.

As we approached the first flats area, I could see shimmering on the surface of the water less than 12 inches deep. Thinking it was only the sun’s first rays and my mind playing tricks on me from at least 6 margaritas the night before, I inquired to Bernard…”That water sure is shiny over there eh mon?”, I said. He replied, “Yeah mon, those bones are 300 or more!” “WOW” is all I could say!!!!!

My first cast was with the brown crab pattern fly (rubber legs) and was horrible due to wind. Of course, it was actually due to the fact that my casts sometimes suck. The second cast was right in the middle of the school, sending approximately 150 fish left and 150 fish right. Not good. The third cast set was better, on the edge of the tailing school, and so then I listened carefully to my guide – “1 o’clock, more left, more left, more left, shoot, strip, strip, pause, strip, stop, wait, wait, …SET. I hooked up on my first big bone of the day. This one took me into my backing in lets say, 18 seconds or so, like UT’s Vince Young running for his final collegiate touchdown against USC in the 2005 National Championship. SEE YA!

What an amazing fight! I felt like I was on the end of a tug of war with a St. Bernard, as guided by Bernard of course. As the fish was tiring and coming near the boat, Bernard said, look, SHARK!!!! The wounded bone had attracted a black tip shark into the flats to feed. Luckily, I landed the bone before it could become breakfast for the shark. As I released the fish into the water, I could only imagine its impending doom knowing the shark would still be nearby waiting to dine on this tasty morsel.

My buddy Steve Hilsabeck and I agreed to switch after each fish caught, so this was his turn. Steve is an amazing guy, VP of a bank, and first time flyfisher. He was here in the Bahamas for the first time, to get married. I wanted him to feel the true joy of bonefishing, so he would know it and then come to love it. Bernard gave him some lessons one on one, and Steve got started with a bang. Five casts into his storied career as a flyfishing enthusiast, Steve lands a huge bone. The Thomas and Thomas performed very well paired with a Ross large arbor reel. Steve was giddy, like a school girl on her first day of middle school. He sang praises to Bernard, and to the bone, to me, and even cheered when the bone took him to his backing. This moment was worth all of those shots of whiskey he made me do throughout our long friendship.

Once he landed the bone, we released it and again it was my turn. After trading off 10-12 times in this fashion, we had to call it a day. More importantly, the lobsters were waiting to be eaten, and of course, we did a few shots to celebrate. So F-town and Hook Em Horns as shown became song material, and the memory will remain forever.

We blew up the bones in Mclean’s Town, Bahamas, but more importantly, we learned a lot about Bahamian life, culture, people, water, wildlife, and fish. We took a grand tour of the Bahamian flats firsthand, led by one of the most sincere and trusted coaching guides on the planet. His skill, coaching approach, humor, and wisdom were amazing. He taught us how to appreciate life again, and how to sing to the fish, how to use stealthy casts, and how to laugh at ourselves. To our good friend Bernard, we love you man!!