It would have been easy for Tiger Woods to have backed off at the 2008 US Open. Almost everyone could have identified with him. He was after all in significant physical pain from playing 72 holes in regulation and 19 more in the playoff with a torn anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) in his left knee and a double stress fracture of his left tibia, the large bone in the lower leg. Had he lost that prestigious event it would also have been easy for Tiger to use his knee pain as an excuse. Might we have?

Likewise, it would have been easy for the young 23 year old kid from Baltimore with ADHD to have quit many times before. The bullying wasn’t fun. He must have hated having his over-sized ears flicked by guys twice his size. Having a couple of guys much larger than himself throw his favorite cap out the bus window was no cake walk. Who would have blamed that skinny kid from becoming angry and giving up on the cruel life which left him and his two sisters to be raised alone by their mother, Debbie. By all rights Michael Phelps should have been content with a life of stimulants and excuses. He should have joined the ranks of complicity. But as history will remember, Michael hasn’t used anything as an excuse.

For those who watched his performance in the 200 Meter Butterfly we became spellbound with yet another win from this amazing young man. The real amazement came, however, after the race began when we learned that shortly as the race began his goggles began to leak water. As he continued swimming they leaked worse and worse. Then, when with about 75 meters to go the goggles were completely filled. Michael was at that point essentially blind. His entire field of vision was blurry. He reported that the only way he knew where he was in the race was by counting his strokes. Again, who would have blamed Michael for losing the race.

But a person who wins eight consecutive Olympic gold medals doesn’t just learn to leave the excuses behind while at the Olympics. It was in his youth that Michael learned to leave the excuses behind. Being bullied in school or by other older swimmers could have provided ample excuse for mediocrity or worse. Somehow, he learned early that excuses simply wouldn’t do. Do you suppose his mother and coach had anything to do with it?

There are actually two types of excuses. External excuses are used to provide rationale to those around us for our poor performance. These are used in ample abundance. However, perhaps the more debilitating excuses are the internal excuses or rationalizations we tell ourselves. One might call these internal excuses or stories, our personal myths. Personal myth, is not as some might guess, a false or fairy tale belief. Rather personal myth is our understanding of reality put into the stories we tell ourselves. Rarely do we know that our reality is twisted. It is often not until we take a look at ourselves through the eyes of others that we even begin to understand our own reality. Hence the great value in having a caring mentor/coach.

Perhaps one of the most impressive parts of the Michael Phelps story is beyond his winning 8 gold medals. It is what he did with adversity. Time after time he has used adversity to spur him on to even greater performance. Even though we may be past the developmental mile posts of preadolescence, it is not too late to continue our personal life training. With the help of a trusted adviser we too can leave our excuses behind.

Here’s to Growth,

Tim

Have you ever found yourself arguing with a boss, co-worker, or relative, and can’t seem to come to agreement? What are the root causes of the disagreement? Whose fault is it? Why can’t we just get along? Well, the concept of Conflict Resolution is well researched and provides us some relief to this lifelong dilemma. It also helps us to catch more fish!!! Hmmmm…..let me explain.

Interpersonal conflicts occur when two or more parties are discussing a subject and they have incompatible styles, conversation goals, and/or personal opinions related to the facts of the issue. Conflict can be generated by differences in a specific factor, or compounded by all of these factors combined. So where does this lead us? It leads us to the notion that understanding these factors is critical when trying to resolve any conflict, including those with people or fish. I know, it’s pretty hard to have a conflict with a 22 inch German Brown trout, but hey…I’ve done it!!! She looks at me with those “please release me” eyes and I just crumble as always. Remember to consider Styles, Goals, and Opinions. This will help put you in a better position to resolve conflicts. Conflict resolution behaviors, according to Linda Putnam (PhD), occur in three common interpersonal styles noted below:

· Non-confrontational - Indirect strategies used for handling a conflict; chooses to avoid or withdraw from a disagreement; uses communicative behaviors such as silence, glossing over differences, and concealing ill feelings.

· Solution-Orientation - Direct communication about the conflict; behaviors that aim to find a solution to integrate the needs of both parties; and to give in or compromise on issues.

· Control - Direct communication about the disagreement; arguing persistently for one’s position; taking control of the interaction; and advocating one’s position.

If you believe your style is more Non-confrontational, and your boss is using the Control style, there is likely going to be some conflict generated just by the mere difference in style regardless of the content of the discussion. If both parties have the Control style, you can see how that conflict could escalate to blows. If both parties have the Non-confrontational style, then you will find the conflict will typically dissipate quickly with out resolution. Generally, Solution-orientation is the recommended style and approach for solving conflicts professionally. Conversational goals should be aligned with solving the conflict fairly (win-win), rather than displaying a “win-lose” attitude. Personal opinions are always present in a conversation, but the parties need to differentiate their opinions from the facts. Everyone knows a person (or two) who sincerely believes his/her opinion is fact… Knowing when to speak and when to listen is also a critical communication element. By understanding these components (Styles, Goals, and Opinions) and working to clearly define them during the discussion, people can find better success in resolving conflicts.

As we scoured the waters of the Madison River near Ennis, MT, for trophy Brown trout, we reflected on the critical factors of conflict resolution (Styles, Goals, and Opinions) and applied them to our fishing. What styles were we using to attract and catch these fish (dry fly Hopper on top or Copper John and Midge under an indicator)? Were our goals to catch little fish or big fish (using a 4 inch Sculpin pattern)? Did our opinions of the approach or environment come into play (wade vs. drift boat)? Overall, once we covered the basics in theory, we talked a lot about questions in resolving conflicts that are more in the grey area. What if the conflict is with a potential client or police officer? How do we adopt a Solution-orientation stance when we are in an emotional conflict with our children or parents? I’ll leave these answers untold here to protect the privacy of our members, but please understand that by confirming Styles, Goals, and Opinions as part of the discussion, people can definitely have a better chance of resolving conflict peacefully and professionally. As proof of the effective application to flyfishing, please see our photo gallery. We hope you can join us on future CPC flyfishing adventures.

Tight lines!!!

Tom Scambilis

What a beautiful morning. Several days ago, I was sitting on top of my one man pontoon boat, alone on Anderson Lake. I had caught and released a couple of nice rainbow trout. There is something spectacular about being the only human on a body of water, lake, or stream. The nice thing about a pontoon boat is that while you are positioned off the water, the water is literally inches from your seat. The craft opens to the water between the two pontoons. On that particular morning the world seemed especially peaceful. There were several swallows and a large number of purple martins (similar to swallows) swooping around the lake acquiring their breakfasts. Early in the morning there were a number of other birds as well, including a magnificent bald eagle tormenting his friend, the osprey.

To a fly fishers delight, the morning hatch of bugs had begun. The bugs du jour that morning were chironomids, or better known as midges. The midge starts its life as an egg, transitions into a larva, then into a pupa. When nature calls, the pupa rises to the surface encapsulated is a bubble of gas which provides the buoyancy for the ride to the surface. Once the pupa breaks through the under-surface of the water, it begins yet another transition. At that point, this mosquito-like insect crawls out of its shuck. It sits atop of the floating shuck for a few seconds drying its wings. Then, the adult insect begins its first flight into a new life doing what insects do — making more insects. It is during these transitional phases and especially the emergence to the surface, that the insects are the most vulnerable to trout. I found it interesting that the midges in this lake were exceptionally large.

I literally had a front row seat sitting there on my pontoon boat watching this spectacle of nature. One particularly large midge emerged in the water between my feet. It was great watching it pop to the surface extracting itself from its shuck. Soon it began its slow flight up and a little towards me. It literally flew about two feet in front of my face so that I could examine the fine points of its wings and body. Engrossed in my face to face nature lesson … bang, unbeknownst to me, a purple martin flew at what seemed to be mach speed from my right side and inhailed the new born! Both were gone in an instant…

While no stranger to this cycle of life, I must admit that this event made an impression on me. Sure, adolescents are accused of living with invincibility and immortality. But you know, so do we adults. I recently heard a woman comment that she can’t image the world without me in it. It don’t believe her notion is so much a statement of her arrogance, as much as it is her detachment from her place in the natural world. The human race has a long history of neglecting our place in nature. Historically, we have so elevated ourselves that if we are not very careful, we too, like the small midge, may rise to a level of annihilation. Each of us have a decision to make. Do we live as stewards or consumers of our earth? A client of mine just last week was lamenting how “something is happening”. He went on to provide a long list of critters which are missing from his property this year. On this list were various birds, frogs, and mammals. Granted, his may be an isolated case. Or perhaps it is not. On a broader scope, the states of Oregon and California have closed down the salmon fishery on their coastal waters due to depressed numbers of fish.

It is everyone’s role to provide good stewardship. If not we too may experience the plight of the midge. Swoop…GULP!

Here’s to Growth,

Tim

Several days ago a small group of Hard Working Dads returned to their respective homes from Northern California.  This special weekend was dedicated to helping those guys out there who bust their bunions every day doing the work and family thing. We love our families and most of us love what we do. It was just great getting together as a group of guys, who have different backgrounds, but very similar stressors. It always amazes me how people who don’t know each other can have so much in common. When you are standing in the water surrounded by beautiful scenery, waving a graphite stick in the air at some trout, everyone quickly becomes equal. Doctors, engineers, and educators are all on the same level playing field. For those few hours we are all just trout bums. This group of bums laughed together, ate great food, had some nice wine and talked about some of the concerns which keep us up at night.

All within a couple of days, we fly fished Hat Creek, the Fall River, the Pit River, and Burney Creek.  A special aspect of our fly fishing activity was to go out after suppers to the Fall River. The Fall River is a boat access only spring creek (meaning the river water is generated by huge springs)  which at this time of year experiences the annual Hex hatch. The Hex or Hexagenia is a type of aquatic bug (mayfly) which emerges from below the water surface as darkness approaches. These mayflies are very large (about two inches) and present themselves as a complete delicacy to the trout.  One could just about set their clock by the 9:15 p.m. emergence. The hatch continued for about thirty minutes which conveniently was the legal time to quit fishing (30 minutes after sunset) in California.

The Hex hatch provided a great time for all. Without an exception those in our group expressed how “cool” it was trying to cast and bring fish in, in the near dark or dark. Not only did we find some great rainbow trout but one of our members even accidentally hooked a muskrat. Everyone especially appreciated our catch-and-release policy with that one!

Our staff can heartily recommend those beautiful Northern California waters to anyone. Our local guides were great and our Hard Working Dads were not only rejuvenated but left with a few down-to-earth tools to help them cope in this crazy working world of ours.  For all the other Hard Working Dads out there that were not at the Hex hatch our thoughts are with you. We hope you understand the importance of connecting with nature and bonding with your brothers.  No matter what we do for our work, we guys benefit from being challenged by nature at it’s best.

If you were not able to join us this year we hope to see you at next years Hex hatch. In the mean time perhaps we can connect on the Madison River in Montana at our Conflict Management event July 31- August 2, 2008. Those fish will make your arm sore!

Here’s to Growth,

Tim

After a significantly busy week rushing here and there I decided it was time to go visit the Lyre River here on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington. There are numerous small coastal rivers here the Peninsula. These rivers are watersheds for the Olympic Mountain range. Some of them are really not much more than large streams while others are large wild rivers. The Lyre is a bit different in that it is a “tail water” which flows out of Lake Crescent. People typically fish the Lyre in the Fall for steelhead. Steelhead are rainbow trout which leave the river system and travel out to the salt water for a year or two. When they return, they are big fish. Some steelhead do return in the spring and summer to produce the so called summer run.

I knew I would be a bit early for the summer run but I wanted to go out to the Lyre and just get to know it a bit better. It was a very nice day on the water. I saw only one other guy on the river, not what you would call a big crowd. By lunch time I had caught and released about ten juvinial steelhead. Spunky little guys. Then for some reason I began thinking about the old days of driving in the San Francisco Bay area traffic during rush hour. During those times it seemed inevitable that I would experience great bundles of stress while trying to get the the airport on time.

Just at that point on the Lyre, the next hour became a bit of a rush hour of its own. My current rush hour began by hooking a couple more particularly strong fish. I then moved up stream to a slower pool where I thought the fish may be resting. At the tail-out of the pool two trees had fallen into the water and were perpendicular to the increased water flow. I began fishing up stream from these windfalls. I looked up to notice my dog Midge walking out on the fallen tree nearest me, which she often does. Then for some unknown reason Midge simply lost her footing and plunged into the water up-current of the windfall. Immediately, the current slammed her against the tree and sucked her under. At that instant I knew two things for sure. First, I could not reach her to provide rescue. Second, I knew the force of the water could trap and keep her there until summer when the water recedes! Fortunately, my state of panic was relieved when I saw her pop-up like a cork on the other side of the log. Yeah, she is safe.

The only problem now was the other fallen log which Midge was quickly drifting towards. She saw it and tried to climb up onto it. Again, however, she was grabbed by the force of the water and taken under. This tree being smaller, Midge popped up on the other side of it more quickly this time. At that point she began to be carried down stream by the current. By the time she floated a hundred feet down stream she had been able to swim to the water’s edge and climb on to terra firma. Being a pretty tough dog she shook herself off and immediately provided mother earth with the biggest poop I have ever seen from her!

You want a rush? That was a rush.

The near drowning incident was to become only the first half of the rush hour. I sat both dog an man down along the river bank and decided to take a break with some lunch. As I sat there munching away on my peanut butter sandwich with wet and gooey dog in hand, I took the occasion to just absorb the world I was in. You know, to be in the moment. I slowly provided myself a 180 degree pan of the scenery before me. A small but beautiful river with very clear water. Lush greenery with plentiful ferns, some four and five feet in height. A forest filled with Western Red Cedar as well as an ample supply of Alder. Then there were the tiny flowers growing out of the moss covered rocks along the river bank. In a state of gratitude, this was one of the best peanut butter sandwich I have ever eaten, and the smell of wet dog next to me made it even better.

A few moments earlier I had undergone a large adrenalin rush with my four legged girlfriend’s near tragedy. Now I was experiencing a rush of another sort. I suppose some may describe it as a spiritual rush. Since I describe spirituality as being in a harmonious relation with the universe, yes, I suppose I would consider this to have been a spiritual rush hour.

Here’s to Growth,

Tim

Stress is natural, right – right. Stress management used to be quite trendy. Today it almost appears to be a given that people will be stressed. Just look at the coffee and energy drink market. That is actually, kind of, good news. Perhaps we have grown up over the last couple of decades when we thought all stress was bad. Well all stress is not bad. In fact some stress is actually good. A few years back, someone coined the term, eustress. Eustress is taken after the word euphoria. Eustress is standing in the line at your grad-school graduation just before you receive your diploma with honors. You are stressed about all those people out there, but you are also proud and excited about starting your new job. If you get the whole good cholesterol –bad cholesterol idea then you should get this. If eustress is the good stress then distress is the bad stress.

So what is distress? Distress is one’s perception of physical or emotional threat. Physical or emotional threat can come in any form. Think about it. Winning the lottery should definitely be perceived as good, right? Not if your relatives and friends from far and wide show up at your door like a swarm of spring time carpenter ants. All of them buzzing and munching, just trying to get their greedy little pinchers on your loot.

One thing you are experiencing during distress is a release of the thyroid hormone in your bloodstream. Back in caveman and cave-woman days there was an original benefit to this hormone rush. Thyroid hormones speed up the body’s metabolism. The body thus burns its fuel faster, to provide extra energy, much as a turbocharger helps your car.

The drawback today is that at our level of distress, we often overuse the thyroid. As such we may experience an intolerance to heat, shaky nerves to the point of jumpiness, guaranteed weight loss under distress (if food intake remains constant), insomnia, and ultimately exhaustion or burnout. While some obese people react to stress by gaining weight, this is only because they actively work at overwhelming their thyroids with extra calories.

One outcome of excess thyroid being exhaustion or burnout encourages people to try to artificially stimulate themselves. Note they are trying to stimulate the overly stimulated. Hum, do you hear a crash coming? While it is well to note that the term energy drink is actually a misnomer, what we really want to be aware of is what causes the energy drain in the first place.

What is your balance of eustress v. distress?

Here’s to Growth,

Tim

If part of your role in life is to effect change then your simply must become familiar with the book Influencer (www.influencerbook.com). It is a must for anyone in the business of change – and of course that is most of us. As formal or informal change agents we come in contact all the time with negative or neutral behavior. The authors of Influencer suggest two powerful and ethical ways of helping humans change: creating new experiences and creating new motives. This blog will focus on the first approach while our next blog will focus on the second.

Contrary to popular opinion we usually prefer continuing with our behavior even if it is deemed negative. If we REALLY didn’t wish to maintain the behavior we would change. Yes we would like to get more exercise, stop smoking, or spend less time proofreading the legal brief. The fact is, we either don’t want to change bad enough or we don’t know how. Most of us come to the point that we don’t think that kind of change is possible. The challenge before the change agent is to help create new experiences. A smoker finds it hard to imagine a life without cigarettes and ends up thinking about are all those cravings. Cancer-cravings; cancer-cravings; …CANCER! People often have a difficult time imagining life without the negative behavior.

In order to create new experiences people must eventually try the new behavior. Most people are poor at predicting what would make them happier. When most do imagine the new behavior they make typical errors. They think the new behavior will actually be very much like the old behavior minus the fun. The fact is, however, if people actually try the new behavior they typically end up liking it.

One of the best ways of getting people to try a new behavior is to have them make a game out of it. After all, face it; some who actually do try the new behavior will simply not like it. Let’s say you are trying to get your computer-game-driven pre-teen to get more outdoors exercise. How successful will you be in getting him to run up and down a field for a hour or so? Yeah right. Even though you might be able to convince him that the exercise would improve his performance on the computer game, your chances are pretty slim of pulling this off. Now, however, place a goal cage at each end, a soccer ball in the middle, some umpires and several of his best friends, and the kid is flying. So much of what can be done to transform unpleasant behavior into enjoyable behavior is to turn it into a game.

Ok, so let’s get personal. The common cry of corporate and professional types is that my work forces me to be imbalanced. However, much of life/work imbalance occurs because of the attainment of personal goals, that is, I am a better person for over working. The imbalanced worker is often also striving for the next level of achievement. How might we make life/work balance a game? What is your experience?

Here’s to Growth,

Tim

Those of you who already know us are aware that we focus on helping people make positive changes in their lives. As such you are also aware that we use fly fishing as a vehicle to jump-start the change process. Of course those who have experienced our services either in an open enrolment retreat or in a customized coaching assignment know the benefits of combining coaching and fly fishing during the change process. You have first hand experience with applying the metaphors on the water with your personal and professional life.

As an unfamiliar reader, however, you may be wondering if something’s fishy (pardon the pun)! Change is difficult. Our job is to help you find the most success in the shortest amount of time, with the most lasting results. That is precisely why we combine coaching and fly-fishing. It works! We have found that fly-fishing (whether novice or expert level) mimics life. Spending time on the water will not only tell us how you fish, but especially how you work and do life. Fly-fishing is a highly informative metaphor for life.

So …we pair state-of-the-art psychological methods with the experience of fly-fishing to help high level performers (i.e., corporate leaders, professionals, media/entertainment personalities, and athletes) make positive change. Since we strongly believe in the power of metaphor we would like to hear from you regarding your experience using metaphor to enhance the change process. In the past you may have used golf, sailing, or even chess to aid you in the change process. Chances are we have all had these change experiences, what are yours?

Here’s to Growth,

Tim

So the question continues, how do we make positive change in our life?  Have you ever noticed that most of us are more interested in creating change in others than ourselves? We would like to suggest at this point that may want to get a bit self-centered at this point in our discussion.  Isn’t it amazing how many people around us need changing? However, for now let’s just focus on our own “missing pieces”. Discussion regarding change theory tends to focus on either changing our behavior or our inner dynamics. Some people prefer the gardening metaphor.  When weeds sprout up do we use the weed-eater to whack the pesky stems to the ground or dig up the root system? Of course fans of the chemical Roundup have a third option.

In a discussion about changing our own behavior, we would like to suggest the very first thing one needs to do is observe vital behavior. There are plenty of behaviors but many are not vital to living a productive life. It is our experience that most of us really do not see our own behaviors with clarity. After all, when someone gets upset isn’t it usually due to their need for anger management? They simply don’t understand us. The converse is also true. When we get upset with someone, it is because they have issues. While most of us believe we know how we come across with others, experience has taught us that the average person is in fact quite clueless. Most would agree that we all have blind spots – but that many? What is your experience?

 Here’s to Growth,Tim

So just when is an apple perfect? Most people would argue it is perfect when crisp and sweet (except for the Granny Smith lovers). Is it possible that an apple is perfect at every stage of development? After it becomes soft and brown. When it falls to the ground and rots it is doing just what nature would have it do in order to provide fertilizer for the seed to grow into a tree. Then after the tree grows and provides buds, it is perfect — for its stage. When the apple is green, hard and sour — it too is perfect.

We in Western Culture get caught up in thinking perfection is like a ladder. But as we know the higher we go, the more we slip down. Beyond that, there is no top, no place to stop and say we have achieved.

Perhaps we in the West would be better served to borrow some perspective from our friends from the East. Amazing to think that we ARE perfect — for our stage of development. Worms and all!

Live Well,

Tim